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He asked if his girlfriend could spend the night, insisting that her parents said it would be okay with them. It just seemed wrong to give high school students permission to spend the night together in our house. Will you truly feel comfortable having the girl walking around your hallways at night and sitting at your breakfast table the next morning. Tell us what you think. The Dutch experience suggests that it is possible for families to stay connected when teenagers start having sex, and that if they do, the transition into adulthood need not be so painful for parents or children. I remember having some of my early sexual experiences in an uncomfortable car seat late at night in Hoyt Park, because I had to sneak around my parents. Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex.

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Not surprisingly, teenage sex is a source of conflict in many American families. It just seemed wrong to give high school students permission to spend the night together in our house. You agree to receive occasional updates and special offers for The New York Times's products and services. Will the young couple abide by whatever rules you set for the sleepover. Tell us what you think. The question of who sleeps where when a teenager brings a boyfriend or girlfriend home for the night fits within the larger world of culturally divergent ideas about teenage sex, lust and capacity for love.

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However, I started to wonder if this was irrational on my part. She enjoyed being close to her boyfriend but did not like having to keep an important part of her life secret from her parents. While religion and economics play a role, a closer look at the two countries reveals different cultures of independence and control that shape attitudes toward teen sex. But even the most traditional parents can appreciate the virtue of having their children be comfortable bringing a girlfriend or boyfriend home, rather than have them sneak around.

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Description: It seems these conversations helped teenagers prepare, responsibly, for active sex lives. Events Guide Television Theater Video. Normalizing ideas about teenage sex in fact allows the Dutch to exert more control over their children. Madison, Wisconsin USA. It really is your call on whether the girlfriend sleeps over, based on multiple factors. In a national survey, 7 of 10 Dutch girls reported that by the time they were 16, their parents had talked to them about pregnancy and contraception. She enjoyed being close to her boyfriend but did not like having to keep an important part of her life secret from her parents. Contexts sociology for the public. Parents in the United States and the Netherlands take very different approaches to adolescent sexuality. But even the most traditional parents can appreciate the virtue of having their children be comfortable bringing a girlfriend or boyfriend home, rather than have them sneak around.
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